Speech Training

Archive for the ‘Fear and Lying’ Category

In a survey done by Dr. Laurie Rozakis, author of  The CompleteIdiots Guide to Public Speaking, it was found that many people are scared to speak before a group. It is the number one fear among Americans, “–and the number 6 is fear of death,” according to Dr. Rozakis.

Even the most experienced speaker gets anxious when speaking in public. However, this fear can be controlled so that you can put your fear to your advantage. This topic teaches us why people are nervous when speaking in front of a crowd and how you can conquer your fear.

FEAR OF THE AUDIENCE

People are afraid of rejection by their audience. Thus, many are terrified of speaking in public for fear of being criticized by the crowd for how they look or how they deliver their speech. On the contrary, audiences are very understanding about the speaker’s problem with stage fright. You become more nervous when your fear of the audience increases.

A few strategies to help you overcome a fear of the audience are :

• Choose a topic that you like and you are familiar with. The more comfortable you are about your chosen topic, the more confident you are in facing your audience.
• Concentrate on your topic. Focus on your topic and not on yourself. When you start to think of your subject matter and not yourself, your fear of speaking will likely decrease.
• Say to yourself: “I am the BOSS.” Trust in your capability of delivering your speech. Showing that you are in charge decreases your fear and increases your confidence in facing the situation.
• Don’t think of your audience as a threat. Bridge the gap between your audience and yourself. Analyze carefully to establish rapport. You should consider age, gender and their level of expertise. Remember to analyze your audience.

FEAR OF FAILURE

There are two ways to win over your fear of failure.

• Picture yourself succeeding. If you think that you will stutter in front of many people, chances are you will stutter. But if you visualize yourself delivering your speech well, then, you will.
• Face your fear. You cannot overcome your fear unless you show it and admit that you are afraid of it.

FEAR THAT YOUR SPEECH IS A BAD SPEECH

• Write well. Take time to write your speech. Review it and rewrite if necessary. If you are confident with your speech, the less terrified you will be about speaking in public.
• Practice and ask for suggestions on how you can improve your speech. Ask a friend of relative to act as your audience. Once you have delivered your topic, ask for their feedback. Don’t be afraid to hear about what they will say. Their feedback can give you insight on what is good or bad in your speech.

People learn how to tell lies at an early age and become more skilled at doing so as they get older. Not surprisingly, it is not easy to detect lies. However, some people give away verbal and nonverbal signs of lying without realizing it. Here, then, are some of the best signs to look for to detect a lie.

1. A change in the pitch and tone of the voice may indicate a lie. Undue tension in the voice and talking way too fast are defensive reactions that may show that the speaker is not truthful.

2. A person who stammers and pauses excessively may be trying to gather their thoughts and think of a plausible story. Garbled speech also shows that the speaker may not believe what they are saying.

3. Instead of answering a question with an immediate truthful answer, a liar may echo back the question that was just asked. The person may be stalling for time in order to think of a story.

4. When a person adds too many details to a story it may indicate that it is a lie. When telling the truth most people just relate the bare essentials rather than make an effort to remember lots of details.

5. Overreacting can be a bad sign. When a person becomes overly angry and defensive they may be trying to force a person to believe their story. It may indicate that their story is weak and unbelievable.

6. By contrast, acting shocked and confused and playing dumb when asked questions is also a bad sign. The person may be trying to divert attention from themselves and to gain time to think of a believable response.

7. If the questioner changes the subject abruptly the liar may readily go with the change. However, if the person is telling the truth they may want to stick with the line of questioning until the issue is resolved.

8. The accused may become the accuser, pointing fingers and trying to divert attention elsewhere.

9. A lot of face touching, especially with fingers that partially cover the mouth, is also a bad sign. It’s like the person is trying to cover the lie.

10. Fidgeting and generally looking uncomfortable also is a sign that the speaker is not comfortable with what they are saying.

Verbal signs of telling a lie are generally more reliable than nonverbal signs. Nonverbal cues are more easily controlled by the experienced liar and therefore often not very useful. A few other nonverbal signs include avoidance of eye contact and frequent blinking. Also, raised eyebrows or looking upward may be signs of dishonesty, though it is important to remember that these nonverbal signs may be misleading.

It is always difficult to detect lies using verbal and nonverbal clues. The tips above and especially combinations of the tips may help a person to detect a story that isn’t totally honest.